Question 1: It is rare that violence happens in teen/young adult dating relationships.

Answer: Unfortunately, dating violence is not rare.  28% of all high school and college-aged relationships contain some form of abuse – which means more than one in four relationships are unhealthy.

Question 2: People who stay in violent relationships have no one to blame but themselves for their problems.

Answer: This is untrue.  Many people stay in abusive relationships because it is a confusing situation – when an abusive partner is sometimes charming and affectionate and other times abusive, it can be very crazy making for the person being abused.  People who are being abused often do not want their relationship to end, they want the abuse to stop.

Question 3: Emotional abuse can be just as harmful and damaging as physical abuse.

Answer: It is true that emotional abuse can be just as harmful and damaging as physical abuse.  Verbal and emotional abuse have an impact on a person’s self esteem, causing them to maybe believe that the insults are true or that they deserve to be called names because of something that they did.  In a relationship, it is normal to be upset because of certain issues but it is not okay to yell at your partner, call them names or put them down as a result.

Question 4: Drinking and drugs are the main reasons that people are violent. 

Answer: Though drinking and drugs can intensify abuse, they are not the cause.  Not all people who drink or do drugs are choosing to abuse and not all people who abuse drink or do drugs.  Usually, when someone is abusive while under the influence, they are only lashing out at their partner, not others around them.  Being under the influence should never be used to justify abusive behavior.

Question 5: I know of local services available for people who are experiencing dating/domestic violence in their relationships.

 Answer: Every county in the United States has a local Domestic Violence agency that provides resources to people who are being abused or friends or family members who know someone who is being abused.  To find out how to get in touch with your local agency in Maine, go to the website for the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence at http://www.mcedv.org or call 1-866-834-HELP (4357).

** The answers to this quiz were provided by Family Crisis Services (www.familycrisis.org) in Portland, Maine.